


And They Were Roommates

by melanoradrood



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cunnilingus, F/M, First Time, Hoth, Huddling For Warmth, NSFW, Roommates, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, crowdfunded crack porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-17 22:40:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15471693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: It's Hoth. It's Cold. And They're Roommates.Everyone knows the best way to stay warm is with body heat...( y'all know what this is don't even play )





	And They Were Roommates

Cassian knows that Hoth is an Ice Planet. He has seen the Intel, has even dismissed it a time or two in the past, but times are tough, the galaxy is growing smaller, and they can’t be too picky. If Hoth is the answer, then Hoth is the answer. He doesn’t complain, just makes certain that he packs the thickest, heaviest coats he can, stops at a few planets along the way to purchase heavier blankets, and yes, Kay gives him a few odd looks, because he doesn’t understand temperature, and yes, Jyn laughs at him for worrying about the cold, but…

But he remembers Fest. He remembers waking up so cold that he would rather not move, rather not breathe, and yes, they’ll be underground, and yes, there will be insulation, but there’s only so much that can be done. It will be cold, ice cold, quite literally.

He brings as many blankets as he can, but it’s not enough. It’s definitely not enough.

He splits them between himself and Jyn, and Jyn is laughing at him all the way until they open the door to their shuttle, and then her mouth closes, snaps shut, really, because the wave of cold that smacks them in the face, it’s cold enough to kill. Literally. _Literally_.

He feels guilty that he brought Jyn with him. She could have stayed on Base One when Draven sent him ahead to Hoth, to turn the small outpost into a Headquarter for the Rebellion. She would have been warm… but staying on Base One would have kept her in harm’s way… at least this way, she can stay out of trouble, and he can know she’s safe, know she’s alive.

It may be cold, but he’ll sleep better knowing she’s alive.

The first night they spend on Hoth, though…

When he wakes up the next morning, Cassian isn’t convinced she will still be alive. He had a room to himself, thanks to his rank, and it’s small, which means that it’s warm, or at least warmer than other areas of the base, but Jyn… Jyn had slept in one of the large squad bays, where she would eventually share the space with other women, once they arrived. He regretted it now, but he couldn’t just invite her to his room.

He couldn’t just…

When he goes looking for her, Cassian realizes she can’t stay here a second night.

Jyn looks like ice, her lips blue, teeth chattering, and he half drags her out from under the blankets and takes her to the mess hall. There’s caf, and it tastes like bantha shit, but he pours it down her throat anyways until she’s warm enough to feel human again. Her chest, her blankets, her bed, he has Kay help him move it all to his room, and she doesn’t say anything as she sits in his bed, watching him move her things in.

She’ll be warmer in this smaller space, with him.

They could share the bed, but he can’t ask for that. They’ll be roommates.

They can be roommates.

 

* * *

 

Being roommates with Jyn is both the most natural and the most complicated thing of his life. He has never been one to play well with others, always been one that worked alone, that excelled at being alone, but she’s his partner, had been his partner for a while, but never… never like this. It was one thing to share living quarters on a small shuttle, because they never slept at the same time, and when they were on Home One, they had separate rooms, but here, like this…

They share a living space for practical purposes, but it feels almost domestic.

They brush their teeth at the same time, and take turns using the fresher. When they turn off the light, they smile at one another for a moment. When Jyn turns off her datapad, Cassian does much the same. They’re cohabitating, as Kay so casually puts it, and they are, they really are. They’re working together, and when his alarm goes off in the morning, Jyn climbs out of bed a few minutes later. She bundles up to grab them caf, and by the time she comes back, he’s done with the fresher. They drink their caf together, and then…

He doesn’t know what she does with her day, but every night, she’s right there, right there, so close…

So close, but so far away, and it’s fucking crushing. It’s one thing when she’s across the galaxy, or when she’s on shift, or when she’s in her own room, but having her right there…

Sometimes, Cassian thinks he should just reach out and touch her, should just grab her, pull her to him. He wonders if she would pull away, wonders if she would shove him away, wonders if she would… He wonders if she would come to him, if she would let him pull her into his bed. He knows she’s still cold, and he could frame it like that, but it wouldn’t be like that for him. It would be lying, if he told her it was for warmth, because it wouldn’t be, not for him.

He craves her, burns for her, and he needs her. She’s so close but still so untouchable, and it’s near to choking him, every time he opens his eyes and sees her there, wrapped up in her blankets, wrapped up in the blankets he had given her. Karking hell, he’s losing his mind.

Something has to change, and he knows that. He can’t just be roommates with Jyn. Something has to change, but he doesn’t know what, because he’s scared if there’s a change, it might change for the worse, and he can’t… he can’t take anything going bad again.

He needs her there, even if it is just across the room from him. Nothing has to change, even if he wants it to.

Something does change, and it’s entirely out of their control.

When Jyn returns from patrol, Cassian can practically feel the cold seeping in through her, and he’s across the base. He stops what he’s doing and goes to find her, and she’s trying to unwinder herself from the ice soaked clothing, but it’s just exposing her to more cold. He’s quick to move her to their room, and when she’s finally out of the layers that are frozen solid, he realizes that she’s too cold to just bundle back up in new things.

It’s an easy decision, to pull off his own coat, and he leads Jyn to her bed, pulling back the blankets. She doesn’t argue, for once, and just climbs in. Every blanket on his bed, he pulls it over and throws it on top of Jyn, so she’s buried underneath so much blanket, it’s almost too heavy for him to lift to slide under himself.

A logical part of his brain knows that they would be warmer if they shared actual body heat, without clothing between them, but Cassian is still wearing two layers of pants, multiple shirts, and two pairs of socks, and Jyn is much the same, and he - he can still feel her, can feel her body as it presses against him, and force help him.

Jyn is shaking so bad, it’s half moving the bed, and he tries to think of nothing but that as he pulls her to him, as he presses her face, almost forcibly, into his chest, as he takes her hands and tucks them between him, and he wraps his legs around her, his arms, tries to wrap her up like he’s a blanket as well, and force help him, karking hell, he-

He’s going to burn for eternity for this, because she’s miserable, not even talking, only breathing and shivering, and all he can think about is this is the first time they’ve shared a bed, and he wants this, can’t imagine leaving it. He thinks about how, if he even just pulled off his own clothes, her hands would be warmer. He thinks about taking her hands and blowing his breath on them, he thinks about-

He can’t think, suddenly, because she’s so cold, he’s getting cold, and he tries not to shiver, but it happens anyways. In a few minutes, the warmth between them, underneath the blankets, they’ll start warming up, but in the moment, her little hands are freezing him through the multiple layers, and he can feel the cold pressing from the top of her head into his chin and neck.

“Sorry I’m so cold,” she chatters out, and he has to force himself to not laugh, because he wants to - she doesn’t owe him any level of apology, not when he’s laying here, taking advantage of her in his mind.

“You’ll be warm soon,” he promises.

She is warm, eventually, and he promises himself that he’ll get out of the bed. He has to, he can’t stay here, because this might be close to actual torture… but he stays, he stays right there, doesn’t move, because her fingers are digging into his clothing, and her head is resting on his chest, and he’s holding her so close…

They can stay, just like this, for the rest of the night. Jyn doesn’t have to know that he was still awake when she was no longer shaking. She doesn’t have to know how long he agonized over this.

The problem is, though, he has to use the fresher. It’s one thing to just stay in the bed and not move, but if he gets up… getting back in the bed, that’s a conscious decision, and he can’t… he can’t validate that to himself. If he leaves this bed, he can’t just get back in it, no matter how badly he wants to. He considers just holding it, but he knows he can’t, knows he has to get up.

When Cassian finally does manage to slide from the bed, he’s careful to settle Jyn back down into the pillows, and he pulls the blankets tight around her, making sure no cold seeps in. He’s karking freezing, but he has to use the fresher, and then… his bed has no blankets, and there’s no way, even with them all, he’ll ever feel as warm as he just did with Jyn, but he can’t climb back into the bed.

Except, when he comes back into the room, the blankets are thrown back where he had been laying, and Jyn has an exceptionally grumpy look on her face, even if her eyes aren’t open.

“I’m cold,” she grumbles, and he thanks every level of the Force out there for hearing his unspoken prayers, because he honestly had gripped the sink, trying to convince himself not to climb back into bed with her, because he was unsure if he had the strength to stay away.

He climbs into the bed beside her and honestly, if he’s going to die from the cold, if the Empire is going to find them, if everything is going to go crashing around them, this is the night it should happen, because tomorrow he’ll have to go back to his own bed, and he’s not sure he can do it.

 

* * *

 

He makes himself get up the next morning, makes himself get up first, before Jyn. He can hear her getting up when he’s in the fresher, and he hopes that that keeps things from being awkward. There’s nothing said between them, and she brings him caf, and neither of them are morning people, so that just means that nothing will be awkward until the evening.

Except, when evening comes, Cassian makes it to their room first, and he pulls half of the blankets off of Jyn’s bed and puts them back onto his own. He’s already in bed when she comes back, and she says nothing when she gets ready for bed and climbs under the blankets. She says nothing, and he just studies his datapad, because if he looks at her, _he_ might say something, and he can’t. He can’t say anything, because then he’ll admit that he wants to be back in her bed, that he wants to sleep pressed against her, that he-

He can’t even go down that route with his thoughts, because then he’ll ruin everything, and he just can’t. He turns off his datapad and rolls in his bed to turn away from her, and for the first time in a long time, Cassian doesn’t tell Jyn good night.

 

* * *

  

Three night. Three nights of sleeping with Jyn in the bed across from his. Three nights since he last touched Jyn Erso. Three night since he had the best sleep of his life. Cassian Andor has never felt so cold.

He comes back to his room on the fourth night, and he sees all of the blankets piled up on his bed. He’s hit with a wave of confusion, and then a bit of fear, until he remembers - Jyn was on patrol again today.

Of course. It would make sense that she would be just as cold, returning to base today, as she had been the last time. It would only make sense that the bed be ready for her return, that he already be waiting for her.

This time, he strips himself out of his work clothes and puts on his sleeping clothes, an extra thick layer of sleep pants, his thickest pair of socks, and one of the looser short sleeve shirts. He would normally wear a longer sleeved shirt over top, but he knows he’ll be burning up once Jyn is there.

He’s just about to climb into bed when the door opens, and he turns to see Jyn, still bundled up. Her small frame is shaking from the cold, and he ignores the way that the ice bites into his fingers as he starts to undress her.

He peels away the scarves, the hats, the gloves, and he recognizes the coat as his own. Eventually, he has to help her unlace her boots, because her fingers are still shaking, and he takes his time, pulls at the laces, helps her out of them. Her hands go onto his shoulders to steady herself, and when she’s standing there in just her socks, Cassian looks up.

It’s a mistake, a huge mistake, because there’s a look on Jyn’s face that is pure relief, like she’s letting out a sigh and a moan all at once, and he can remember her the other day, wrapped up in his arms - she’s about to be wrapped up in them again, and he’s a karking goner.

Standing up, Cassian pauses before finally pulling at the last few layers. He won’t take off her thin pants, won’t take off her tank top, but the more skin that is exposed, the warmer he can get her. His hands go to the bottom of her shirt, and he imagines another time, another place, where he’s undressing her because she wants him to - the shirt lifts over her head, and then she’s shaking, arms wrapping around her middle, and the thin shirt she wears underneath is not enough to keep her warm.

“Into bed,” he mutters, and he goes and pulls back the blankets, leaving a pile of clothes on the floor where she had been standing. Jyn slips under the blankets, and then Cassian, and then she’s half climbing onto him, her hands in between their bodies, and his arms wrapped around her

In seconds, Jyn is asleep, and he knows she must be exhausted from patrol, but he’s burning alive, burning alive because last time she had at least still been wearing layers, and this time… this time, he can feel her. He can feel her body pressing against his and he wills himself to stop, to not think about rolling her onto her back, kissing down her chest…

He tries to not think about telling her there are other ways to warm up, and he just…

He can’t do this. It’s pure torture.

Cassian waits until Jyn is truly asleep, her fingers warm, and her breathing coming out slowly, and then he pulls himself from the bed. It’s freezing cold, moving away from the warmth, and he throws himself into the fresher, trying to clear his mind.

All he ends up doing is grabbing his cock and stroking himself, trying to remain quiet, trying to not whisper Jyn’s name. Karking hell, he’s in hell right now, and he just wants to kiss her, to hold her, to touch her, but he’s not allowed. She’s untouchable, and if she wanted him, wanted him like that, she would tell him. She would spell it out for him, that she wanted him.

Slipping back into the room, the only thing he hears is Jyn’s teeth chattering, and he wants to get into his own bed, wants to try and roll over and pretend like he didn’t just cum thinking about her body, wants to pretend that he isn’t so in love with her that it hurts, but she’s ice cold, so he - he climbs into bed with Jyn, his chest pressing to her back, and she presses back against him in her sleep. The release helps his body to not respond too quickly, and eventually he falls asleep, his mouth pressing kisses through her hair against her skin.

 

* * *

 

No one should have patrol every four days - it’s supposed to be a eight day rotation, not that he has had to go out yet. He doesn’t know when his turn is, but Jyn has taken too many as it is. He wants to ask about it, when he sees all of the blankets piled up on the bed… but then he wonders when he has to go out there. He could do it. Why hasn’t anyone mentioned patrol to him?

When he finally asks the Head of Security, he’s met with confusion.

“Sergeant Erso, she took your shift. Four days ago, I think. Said you were too busy.”

Cassian doesn’t know how to respond to that, because he could have done it, and why didn’t she mention it? She’s out there again now, and he… he wonders why she wants to be that cold, wonders why she wants to be out there.

“Don’t let her take my next shift. I’ll do it.” He can ride a bloody tauntaun. And maybe… maybe when he gets back to their room, she’ll be there to warm him up.

 

* * *

 

They’ve slept across the room from each other for the past three days, and tonight, when Jyn gets to their room…

He doesn’t even pause, just goes to her, goes to unwrap her. Jyn is frozen still, teeth chattering, as Cassian slowly unwraps her, and he continues until he reaches the same point as last week, Jyn in her thin undershirt and loose pants, a few pairs of socks, and this time, Cassian is in his sleep pants and nothing else.

They’re quiet as they climb into bed, and Jyn immediately rolls away from him, so Cassian can wrap his arms around her, pull her body back tight against his. They fit together so perfectly, he doesn’t want to ask, but he has to. He might ruin this, or maybe Jyn will be too cold to pull away, but he has to know. He can’t keep wondering.

“Why did you take my shift?” he asked.

Jyn is quiet as he holds her, and he thinks that she might be asleep, when eventually, she finally offers an answer. “I’m not doing anything else… and it’s really cold. I know your back and your leg hurt in the cold.”

His heart fucking breaks when he hears her confession, that she did it because she has nothing else, that she did it because she knows it would hurt him… there’s something else, though. She’s not done speaking, and he wants to urge her on.

He thinks he imagines what she says next. “And you’re here to warm me up, when I come back.”

Cassian doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even breathe, and eventually, Cassian can hear her breathing grow longer, slower. She’s asleep, and he…

She goes out there, takes his shift, because when she comes back, she’ll warm him up.

He’s in love with Jyn Erso, and he can’t keep at this much longer.

 

* * *

 

Jyn was right. It was cold. It was so unbelievably cold that he’s pretty sure his leg, the injured one, is no longer there. His fingers have lost feeling, and he’s so past the point of shaking, he’s just frozen still… possibly literally.

Getting back to their room, Cassian doesn’t know what to expect. He hopes that all of their blankets are on one bed, that Jyn is waiting for him. He hopes that he can manage to actually keep walking. He hopes that he isn’t so cold, he never feels his leg again. He hopes that, somewhere, under all these layers, his dick is still attached to his body.

When he opens the door, Jyn is there, and she’s more undressed than he has ever seen her before, wearing something utterly different and new. For a moment, he’s frozen, just looking at her - and then his teeth start chattering again.

She’s wearing his shirt, his karking shirt, the one he wears when she comes in from the cold, and it’s old and soft and thin and short sleeved, but it’s so big on her, it goes to the top of her thighs. She’s wearing pants, but they’re loose and soft, and he can see that they’re pulled tight at the waist, like they’re meant for someone much larger. He wants to melt into her, but he’s pretty sure he would just make her colder.

“You look half frozen,” she mutters, and he stays still as she approaches him, starts to peel away the layers. Two hats, three scarves, two pairs of gloves, his coat, his jacket, snow pants, his boots - he makes the mistake of looking down at Jyn as she unlaces his boots, and then he has to look up at the ceiling, because yeah, his cock is still attached to his body, and his leg is throbbing in pain, but his dick doesn’t care.

He’s so karking cold that he doesn’t even realize when she has him down to his soft pants and his longsleeve shirt, and he pulls that up and over his head, strolling a few steps to the bed. He still has his belt on and he fumbles with it, but Jyn is there, right there, and her fingers are working at it as well.

He says nothing, their fingers brushing against as they both pull at the buckle, and once it’s unhooked, she pulls it from his pants, throws it aside.

Her eyes flick up to his, and his breath catches, because this is the moment he kisses her, where he tells her that there’s another way for them to warm up - but he can’t touch her with these hands, can’t kiss her with these lips. They’re like ice, and while his cock wants to jump into action, he’s pretty sure he’s too cold to move.

“Slide into bed,” she whispers, and he gives a jerky nod, doing as told. His hip aches and he rolls onto his other side, trying to gain some relief. Jyn slides in with him, and his hands rub together, only to be covered by hers. Her breath is warm on his fingers, and he wants to ask her to warm his lips as well.

Slowly, with time, he starts to warm up, and eventually, he feels her hand slide down his side, over his side, to his leg. He can feel her rubbing at the sore muscle, and he wants to say something, to open his eyes, but he’s too tired, too tired to think, to say anything. His eyes are fully shut, and all he can do is murmur her name before he falls asleep.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, and Cassian has to stop by their room before lunch. He almost doesn’t notice it at first, and then he turns, and he sees…

The beds are pushed together. They’re pushed together, in the middle of the room, and he realizes, when he pulls back the blankets, that the sheets underneath are actually one, and then he realizes that it’s not two mattresses… it’s one. There’s one big bed, pushed to one side of the room, with a pile of blankets on it.

He wonders for a brief moment if he’s in the wrong room. He wonders what universe this is. He wonders why his stuff is sitting on a side table that wasn’t there before, why Jyn’s stuff is on the other side table.

He turns around in place, and sees that their things are actually all hanging in the closet, together. Her stuff is to one side, and his is on the other.

Both of their trunks are pushed against the wall that his bed used to be against, side by side, and he stares, he stares at them for so long that it almost hurts.

He wants to go and find Jyn and ask what it means, ask why she did this, but he can’t think of any reason other than the one that he wants. She wants to share a bed with him, wants to sleep beside him every night, wants for this to be permanent, wants for this room to not just be her crashing in it, wants for them to share a space. She wants for this to be a bed, their bed.

Fuck, fucking fuck.

He almost panics as he takes a few steps back, his eyes still locked on the bed, their bed. Tonight, he’s going to come back to this room, and she’ll be here, and they’ll be sharing a bed, and it won’t because they’re frozen solid, can’t even pretend it’s because they’re cold.

He grabs a few things before he leaves the room, a small bundle of stuff, because maybe for two seconds he’s thinking clearly, and then he grabs the datapad he originally came for before heading back to work.

 

* * *

  

Tonight is the night.

Tonight is the karking night, and Jyn won’t take no for an answer. Either this happens, or they talk about it, or she - no, there’s no alternatives. Jyn knows that Cassian wants her, because even if she can’t read him, everyone else can… add on the fact that he murmurs and groans her name, always has a raging hardon when he holds her close, and looks at her like he’s absolutely starving…

He has to want her. She repeats it over and over again in her head, because she has to believe that he feels the same way that she does.

They should talk about this, probably, should work out their feelings, probably have a few centuries of therapy sessions before they move forward, but there’s not enough time for that, and they have wasted enough of it.

She hadn’t realized, when she did her first patrol, that it would result in Jyn sharing a bed with him, but that night, she had barely slept at all, instead soaking in his warmth, his touch. She had been nearly delirious, every time his hands slid over her body, and all she wanted was to feel his body against hers, wanted to feel him touch her, kiss her. His lips had brushed against her temple, and she was done for, was lost.

Two days later, Jyn was in agony. She had almost five more days until she next had to go on patrol, and yes, it was pathetic, but she knew that Cassian would be there, would warm her up, and maybe… maybe she was too weak to admit to him that she wanted to share a bed with him, even if it led to nothing more. Once she realized it was his day, though… well, he hadn’t mentioned it, so she decided to just take the shift.

It was cold as fuck, particularly given the fact that she had worn the only nice set of underwear that she owned, but it was worth it when he undressed her… and then he stopped and climbed into bed with her, still leaving a last layer of clothing on.

She tried again on her actual day, and when he had asked, she had been ready, was ready to tell him, to confess that she did it because she wanted to crawl in his bed, that she craved the attention, that the way he held her, touched her, comforted her… she was pathetic and needy, and it was completely backwards, how she went about telling him.

She had been too tired to say any of it, instead falling asleep, and he hadn’t asked.

When he comes back from patrol, Jyn considers it… she really does. She’s wearing nothing under his shirt, and she’s pretty sure her nipples are rock solid from the cold, and she’s trying to ignore how hot she feels between her legs, but he looks miserable, so she doesn’t even try. Even once they’re in bed… his body is wrapped so tight around her, she can feel him half frozen.

The only answer to this problem is that they need to share a bed on a night when neither of them is frozen solid, but there’s no way to approach that issue without then having to talk about it beforehand. Better to just rip off the bandage, after all, which is why…

She manages to find the only double bed on the base, and drags it into their room. No, she doesn’t ask for help, nor does she tell anyone else. If she has to explain it, then she has to admit that she wants to share a bed with him. Of course, they could just fit into one of the cots, but that would be too… obvious. He would probably offer to sleep on the floor, or just go get a cot from another room.

No, this is a pretty obvious admission to the fact that Jyn wants to sleep in the same bed as him… without her having to say the words.

Part of her knows this is the cowards way out, but part of her is fucking proud.

Because tonight is definitely the night.

She spends most of the afternoon showering and cleaning herself, and she hasn’t been this clean in forever, but it’s worth it. She wants to not stink of cold and sweat and death, and even though it’s freezing when she gets out of the sonic, when she carefully brushes and dries her hair, even when she puts on her cleanest, nicest clothes… it’s all worth it.

She’s wearing the pretty underwear that isn’t stretched, that is black and tight across her backside, with the matching bra, and she doesn’t even know why she owns it, but it looks nice on her skin. She pulls his shirt on over top, and nothing else, and she’s karking cold, freezing, but…

Cassian Andor is going to get back to his room, he’s going to see the single bed, he’s going to see her half dressed, wearing his shirt, and she can remember how his breath had caught when he saw her wearing only it a few days prior, and then… she’s going to kiss him until he takes her to bed and they forget to even talk about why she did all of this.

She has this all planned out… except for the fact that when the door opens, it’s Kay.

They both freeze for the longest of moments, and then the droid turns and walks away, the door slamming shut behind him, and leaving Jyn frozen where she’s standing, unable to move.

“I’m deleting my memory of that,” she hears, his voice floating down the hallway.

This was a terrible idea, Jyn realizes, as she sinks down onto the bed, horror of the moment slapping her across the face.

 

* * *

  

Cassian had left his station early, and gone straight to one of the still empty rooms that had a fresher. Maybe he was being a bit absurd, but it wouldn’t exactly be a bad thing if he showered before going back to his room… and trimmed his beard… and brushed his teeth.

Okay, he’s going a little over the top, but there’s only one bed in his room, and he’s about to sleep beside Jyn. Yeah, he’s stressing about the little things.

He comes across Kay as he’s walking down the hall, and when he stops to talk to the droid, he just gets ignored, which is strange…

He thinks nothing of it until he opens the door to his room, and sees Jyn sitting on the bed, wearing nothing but his shirt.

Cassian is frozen where he stands, door wide open, his toiletry bag in hand, and all he can do is look at her. She had looked good in his shirt the other day, but he can tell, now, that she recently showered, that her hair is brushed and down, and that her skin is still a little pink from the hot water.

Karking hell, she’s almost radiant, and there’s a blush over her skin, but she doesn’t look happy… he can only guess that Kay had gotten here first.

“There’s only one bed,” he says, and he had been working, all day, on what he would say when he got here, and now… it’s all out the window, because he wants to hear it, wants to hear her say that there’s only one bed, that she did this, that she wants them to share a bed.

It takes a moment, and her tongue flicks over her lips, but he doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe, just watches and waits for some sort of answer.

“There’s only one bed,” she confirms, and he finally blinks in response, blinks as he understands, comprehends… there’s only one bed.

There is only one bed.

“Do you want me to warm you up?”

The words are out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and he sucks in a breath, because she’s nodding, fear suddenly clear in her eyes. She’s afraid, but not of him… she’s afraid of what he’ll say, or what he’ll not say, more like. She’s afraid that he won’t… that he won’t respond to the fact that she’s wearing just his shirt.

Karking hell, it’s literally an ice planet, freezing them all to death, and she’s only wearing his shirt.

He’s slow to set down his bag by the fresher door, and then he peels off his parka, his jacket, each layer, each layer until he’s finally two steps away from Jyn, wearing nothing but his soft underlayer, the pants and the tshirt that he normally wears when they share a bed, when he’s that lucky. He knows what comes next, and he braces himself for the cold as he pulls his shirt up and over his head, but when his eyes meet hers, all he feels is warmth.

She’s still sitting there, looking up at him with big eyes, and he knows that she made the first move, that she has made all the moves, because she took his karking patrol for him, so that she could be warmed by him, and she got rid of the extra beds, so that there was only one bed, and she’s wearing only his shirt, and - he can take the last steps. He can do this for her, for them. He can make the last move.

His hand goes into her hair when he’s close enough, and her eyes close for a brief moment as she leans into his touch, his thumb running over her brow, her temple, down to her jaw, and he runs his fingers under her chin, forcing her to look upwards. Her eyes open, and he offers his other hand to her, so that she can take it.

Jyn does so, and he lifts her up to stand before him, their bodies so close that they’re brushing against each other, and he doesn’t drop her hand, just looks at her, looks at how beautiful she is, so strong, so brave. He can’t believe how karking lucky he is that she even exists in his life, that she trusts him so much, that she took all of these steps.

She took all of these steps, threw herself out there, opened herself up to him, and he’s the dumb ass that is stuck just staring at her, because she’s so beautiful, her eyes so expressive, and he… he has to make a move before she thinks he doesn’t care, because he does, he karking does care, cares about nothing but her and her smile and her touch and her taste and making her feel good and making sure she knows _just_ how he feels about her.

A shiver runs over her, and she shakes slightly, startling him out of his thoughts. He had offered to warm her up, and he realized just how cold her hands were in his, which was impossible, because his own fingers felt like ice. He looked down at them, how small they were, one still held tight in his, and he lifts it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

“Your hands are like ice,” he murmurs, and her eyes are still on him when he flicks his gaze back to her, away from where his care is now being placed. He smiles at her slightly, then goes back to her hands, kissing each knuckle, each fingertip, and then opening her palm in his own hands. His lips press there, into the warmth, and her fingers flex around his cheek, making him rub his face against her touch.

He can’t linger like this, but her nails scratch at the short hair of his beard, freshly trimmed, and he wants to moan into her touch, rub himself against her and ask for more. He wants her hands in his hair, scratching at his scalp, brushing it back, tugging at the strands, and he might get there eventually - he kisses her palm again, eyes closed, then moves up to her wrist. If he keeps like this, he’ll kiss across her whole body… but that was only one hand.

His head tilts as he presses his cheek into the palm of her hand, and his eyes open to look at her, to see her lips parted as she watches him. He moves her hand a bit higher, until her fingertips are touching his hair, and then he reaches for the other hand, bringing it to his lips.

Cassian is slower this time. He lingers on each finger, kissing across it from knuckle to tip, then kisses the back of her hand, up over her thumb, and back down onto her palm. She’s breathing harder, he notices, and the tip of her nose is getting red, and he remembers the cold, suddenly remembers that his feet feel like ice, that she’s probably shivering in just his shirt.

Karking hell, she’s only wearing his _shirt_.

He should kiss her, needs to kiss her, wants nothing more than to kiss her lips, but she’s shivering, he’s shivering, and there’s a bed - there’s _one single bed_ \- and it must be the cold because his brain keeps malfunctioning.

His hands pull away from hers, leaving her hands on his face, and he slides them down her sides, over the shirt, until he reaches her hips. His fingers wrap around her, holding her tight, and he waits for her to pull away, to stop him, but she just looks at him, looks at him like she’s in awe, and her fingers spread in his hair, nails curling against his skin. Fuck, he wants to jerk his hips just at that touch, but he’s too cold for that right now.

Cassian lifts her at her waist, picking her up easily, and her legs wrap around him as he spin them, sitting down onto the bed. Her knees hit the surface as well, and now she’s in his lap, sitting on top of him, and he can feel her, can feel the heat of her through his thin pants. He wants to buck up, to feel more of her, but he still hasn’t even kissed her.

“Your nose looks cold,” he murmurs, and there’s a hint of a smile on her lips, and he leans forward, rubbing his own nose against hers. His eyes had already shut, and she relaxes into him, her hands moving down the back of his neck, onto the bare skin of his shoulders, and she runs her nails along one blade, down to his arm.

He’s trying to not moan just from that touch, but it’s impossible to stop himself when her hands move back into his hair, nails scratching at the nape, and he- his head jerks, lips brushing just over hers, and she sucks in a gasp in response.

He needs to kiss her, needs to ask her, he needs to - he has to slow down because it’s too cold to go where he wants to right now.

Instead, his hands move down to her legs, and he can feel how cold they are as well. He can’t bring himself to say the words, to ask if he can kiss her, and her eyes are still closed… he wants to see her looking at him when he asks to finally kiss her.

“Your legs are cold,” he murmurs, and she nods, eyes opening slowly. Their noses keep brushing, but their lips… he had that one touch, but it’s not enough. “Should I warm them up?”

She nods, her lips suddenly pushing together, and he watches as her tongue just peaks out. His eyes are locked there now, on her lips, but his hands move up and down the tops of her legs, trying to warm them. They warm in his touch quickly, as he rubs up and down, and he can feel her shifting in his lap as her fingers move up in his hair, starting to pull at the strands as she scratches.

He would probably cum in his pants if it wasn’t so cold, just from this.

“Where else are you… where else are you cold?” he asks, and his voice feels gruff, lower than normal.

His eyes are still on her lips, and she licks them again, slower, making him suck in a breath. His eyes flick up, and he can see that she’s looking at his lips as well.

“Your… are your lips…”

“Yeah,” she breathes out, and then she smiles. Smiles so bright that there’s lines around her eyes that he has never seen before. “Yeah, my lips are cold.”

It’s one moment, one brilliant moment of him just looking at her, looking at that smile, and then he’s grinning back, grinning so hard it hurts his face, using muscles he hasn’t used in… well, ever. It feels good to smile at her like this, like that’s the best thing he has ever heard, because it is.

“Then I should probably warm them up,” he says, and she laughs, she _laughs_ , and he…

Fuck, he’s in love with that laugh.

“Can you?” she asks, and her voice sounds… almost unsure. “And… and every other part of me…”

“I can do that,” he groans, and he wants to lean forward, wants to kiss her - “Tell me to stop and I’ll stop, but Jyn, Force-”

“Please don’t,” she breathes out, and he grins again, their smiles making it hard for him to lean in and actually kiss her. They’re more teeth than lips right now, and he pulls back just enough that his hands slide up under her shirt, up her hips, and-

She’s not wearing underwear.

Jyn isn’t wearing any underwear, and his brain breaks.

He’s too rough at first, and he knows that, his lips pressing hard against hers, and she stiffens in his arms - he goes to pull back, but she chases after him, their lips catching again, and then she pulls back, and he moves in - it takes time, multiple kisses, their heads tilting, and then they catch each other, their lips moving together, their noses brushing, and he finally has her. Her hands relax in his hair, and his hands move higher, higher up her back, fingers running down her spine, and he finally eases under her.

He’s kissing her, kissing her slowly, her lips parting and then his, and he can feel her tongue, almost scared at first. He responds, tries to copy her, to follow her, because he doesn’t know anything more than rushed encounters and undercover work, and Jyn… he knows she has been on the run, wonders how many times someone kissed her like they love her.

He doesn’t care, though. Not really. What happened before now doesn’t matter. All that matters now is that he loves her, that he makes love to her, worships her, slowly, so that she knows how perfect she is, so that she knows how much he needs her, needs her in his life, needs to be able to come back to this bed, to her, to shed the mask and the armor and the weight of it all, to just climb into bed and find himself with her.

He doesn’t know how to really kiss like this, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because they’re learning together. Her fingers move, down to his back, and one hand moves to his chest, fingers pressing over his heart. Her lips pull from his for a second, and he slides one hand from under her shirt, moves it to rest over her hand. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest, even through her touch, and his eyes open as he looks at her.

He wants to tell her, wants to tell her things he has never told anyone, wants to confess all of his sins, the ones that he could only pray the Death Star had wiped clean, but he’s lost, lost as he looks at her, look at how she looks at him, like she’s telling him a thousand things at once.

He takes in a shuddered breath, and then realizes he’s cold - not just a little cold, but he’s fucking freezing. He can actually see his breath in front of him, can see her lips turning almost blue without his lips to warm them, and he remembers they’re sitting on a bed, _their bed_ , and it’s covered in blankets.

They can continue this under the blankets.

“You’re freezing,” he says, and then amends himself. “ _We’re_ freezing, and we have a bed covered in blankets that we’re not using.”

There’s a smile on her lips, and he knows they need to move under the blankets, but he can’t help himself.

He kisses her again, and this time, it’s… it’s not like before.

His hand on her back slides down, slides over her spine, and then down the curve of her backside, until his fingers press into the flesh of her ass. He tugs her closer, lips parting, and she presses her fingers into his shoulders, clinging to him. Their hands are still over his heart, pressed in between them, and he moves his hand from her ass up into her hair, fingers digging in to tilt her face as he wants, kissing her harder.

It’s too much at once, and he knows that, but she bites at his lips, sucks at them, kisses him back like she can’t stop herself either, until they’re both left breathless. Their lips part just enough for them to breathe, and he turns his head, stopping them from continuing.

“Next time,” he murmurs against her jaw, and she nods, nods in response, because yeah they need to explore that, explore the way that she gasped when his lips were almost cruel, how she bit at him, how they pulled at each other’s hair, how they both _clearly_ need that…

But tonight isn’t about the fight that’s always burning inside of them. They’re both tired, both exhausted from the fight that is their lives, and tonight, tonight he just wants to live, wants to feel, wants to touch and worship… and the way that she so easily relaxes in his touch, how her fingers go from tugging to soothing, she needs that too.

Next time… karking hell she just agreed to a next time but he can’t think about next time, not when she’s still almost naked in his lap.

“The blankets?” she says, and he nods in response, because yeah, that’s where they were headed next.

They have to work together, because he’s not letting her off his lap, and she’s not moving, but they pull the blankets back enough that Cassian can slide upwards onto the bed, settling into the middle, with Jyn still in his lap. His back is on the pillows that she has piled up there, and he lifts himself just enough to tug the blankets down, and then pulls them back up together with her, one side each, so that it comes up around their waists.

He could spend the rest of his night just like this, with Jyn in his lap, kissing her, holding her, their bodies wrapped up together in _their_ bed, but she’s shifting in his lap again, like she has something on her mind, and he wants to ask, but he can’t find the words.

Instead, he runs his fingers into her hair, brushing it back from her face, and she smiles at him, something small and tentative, but he knows… he knows it’s good, knows that everything is good, that everything is perfect.

She’s perfect, she’s so perfect in his lap, and he pulls the blankets up higher around her, rests his arms behind her back so that he can pull her closer to him. She leans forward, until her head is on his shoulder, and he takes a moment to try to remember his feet, starting to warm up. A shiver runs up her back, and he holds her tighter, just letting the warmth start to fill them.

“We’d… be warmer if we just relied on our body heat,” he murmurs, and she nods against his shoulder. He can feel her smile there, on his skin, and he takes in a breath, then lifts his hips as he pushes them down with one hand. She’s shifting on his chest, up higher a little, and he can feel her, can feel her bare skin, the warmth between her thighs, sitting on his abdomen, and he tries to ignore how hot she feels, how _wet_ she feels, as he kicks his pants down off his feet.

He manages to kick them off and out from under the blankets, and she doesn’t move from where she is on her chest, just shivers again.

She’s only wearing his karking shirt, and he thinks she might be about to take it off… if she wants to.

They could stop right now and Cassian would die a happy man, but there’s a part of him that isn’t quite ready to die just yet, and underneath the warmth of the blankets, with the warmth of _her_ so close, he’s coming to life.

Another shiver runs down Jyn’s spine, but this time, Cassian doesn’t move to touch her, just shifts his hands down, so that they’re laying on either side of him, holding the blanket down around them.

She shifts, shifts backwards so that she’s sitting up in his lap, and he looks up at her, watches, waits as she looks down at him. There’s a tentative smile, and then she’s moving her hands to the bottom of the shirt, about to lift it up and over her head.

“You don’t have to,” he says, and he can see the nervousness in her eyes - they don’t have to do anything, they really don’t, even though he would love to continue… that seems to fuel her on, though, because she doesn’t say anything.

She just pulls the shirt up and over her head, tossing it to the side, leaving her naked, completely naked for him to see.

He doesn’t look away, though, doesn’t look away from her eyes, just looking up at her, not looking down until she opens her own.

Jyn flicks her tongue over her lips, and then opens her eyes, looking for a reaction. He’s still watching her, and he wants to look, but he won’t, not until she relaxes, not until it’s clear that she _wants_ him to look.

“But I wanted to,” she says, and she smiles again, tiny, with her eyes and the corner of her mouth, and he smiles back in much the same way… and then finally looks.

There’s scars, all of them old, most of them looking like they hadn’t been treated, but he doesn’t linger on any for long. Her breasts are… they look like they’re perfect, would fit perfectly in his hands, and he wants to test them, wants to feel the weight of them, wants to brush his thumbs over her nipples, and they’re hard, probably from the cold, and he wants to run his tongue over them, warm them with his mouth.

He looks lower, to her stomach, and she has been with the Rebellion for some time, but it’s clear that she has spent most of her life without real sustenance. He doesn’t care what she looks like, not really, but she looks strong, is strong, despite her rough upbringing.

He doesn’t look lower, partially because the blanket is sitting around her hips, and partially because if he looks any lower, his heart might actually leave his chest.

She’s looking at him, waiting for him to say something, and he has to scramble for some sort of words, something that makes sense.

“Strong,” he chokes out, and her eyebrow arches, a sign that she doesn’t know what that means, and he closes his eyes for a moment, takes in a breath, his head falling back against the wall. “I… you look strong.”

When he opens his eyes, she looks a little amused, but still curious… very curious.

“Well, I am strong,” she says, and he nods, leaning forwards, shifting so that she has to slide down on him, her legs shifting her so that he can feel her heat against him, the length of him no longer hidden by distance.

“You’re beautiful,” he says, and he’s being honest. There’s a blush on her cheeks at his words, and he thinks that’s what she was hoping for… but physical beauty isn’t what calls her to him. It’s so much more than that. “So unbelievably beautiful, and strong. Your body is…”

 _Made for mine_ , he thinks, the way that they fit together even now, how she’s strong enough to carry his weight, strong enough to fight and run and climb, and beautiful, so beautiful, the fierceness in her eyes.

“I can’t… words,” he finally says, because words don’t explain it.

He fears that might not be enough, but then she’s smiling again, her lips pursing together like she’s so amused, like she understands.

“You’re beautiful,” she says in response, and her fingers run into his hair, brushing back the front of it from his face. “And strong. So strong.”

He grins, because yeah that sounds… just like what he said, but he likes it, likes how she says it.

“Karking hell, we’re naked,” he says, and it takes him a moment to realize that he said it out loud, but then Jyn bursts out laughing again, just like earlier. “And I love your laugh.”

She’s still smiling as her laugh slows, and then she nods, leaning in closer. “We’re naked, and you’re not touching me…”

Cassian lets out a heavy breath that makes his chest nearly ache as he looks at her, so beautiful, so unbelievably perfect, and he… he wants to say something, but not now. Not right now. Later, when he can think clearly enough to put the words together in a proper sentence.

Instead, his hand moves up her back, running up her spine, and he pulls her to him, pulls her so that he can press a kiss to her lips, and move his free hand to her hip.

“Hang on,” he mutters, and they shift together, old injuries making them both groan, until Cassian has her on her back, and he’s shifting down between her legs, his cock leaving the warmth of her, and rubbing against the stiff sheets. He’ll curse about that later, but right now he wants to see her, to taste her.

She’s looking at him like she’s waiting for something to happen, maybe something bad, maybe something unexpected, so instead of worrying about anything else, he moves back up again, kissing her on the lips. Whatever seems to have Jyn stressed out, that calms her immediately, her body relaxing under his, and her fingers moving back into her hair.

When he pulls away for air, Cassian shifts lower, to her jaw, to her throat, working his way down until he reaches her breasts. They really are perfect, and he leans onto one forearm, freeing the other hand so that he can reach up, caress her skin, roll her nipple between two fingers.

“Beautiful,” he insists, and when he looks up, he can see the red on her cheeks again. He likes that, likes making her blush, likes telling her things that she doesn’t expect, and he almost moves up to kiss her again, but instead, moves to kiss her other breast.

He’s gentle at first, pressing a kiss to the hard bud, but then he opens his mouth, licking around it. He can tell how cold they are, and he flattens his hand over her other breast, massaging it, and sucks her nipple into his mouth, warming it with his tongue over and over.

The moans are immediate, and her hands tighten in his hair. He can feel her hips squirming as well, and he moves one of his legs forward, his knee pressing between her thighs. He realizes, after a moment, that he’s working her clit against him, trying to relieve some pressure, and he shifts to the other side, switching arms, his mouth moving to the other breast, and he licks at it until it softens, then hardens again as he tugs on it with his teeth.

“Cassian!” she gasps, and he grins as he shifts to between her breasts, looking up at her.

“I’m going to make you cum just by playing with these one night,” he insists, and he presses a kiss in the valley before he starts working his way down.

His eyes never leave hers, even as he reaches her stomach, and he presses open mouthed kisses to her skin until he reaches her hip. He doesn’t want to look away, loves how her eyes widen every time he reaches a sensitive spot, and she has stopped breathing, instead just holding her breath until she shaking lets it out and gasps in another. He loves watching her, wants to see how she reacts when he reaches her clit, but he wants to see what he’s doing, wants to see her, wants to take it all in.

His eyes drag down to what his nose can already smell, and he realizes that she probably planned this, the dark hair between her legs definitely trimmed back, although not entirely gone. He arches a brow at her, because really, he doesn’t care, but he’s interested to know why she had done any sort of grooming.

“Were you hoping this might happen?” he asks, and he tries to not sound amused, but he is, he really is.

“It’s for cleanliness,” she huffs, and he grins against her hip for a moment.

“Well, I don’t care what you do, just so long as you let me explore you,” he insists, and she grins down at him, clearly pleased as well.

His gaze moves back down to her slit, and he uses two fingers to slide and up and down between her folds, gaining a little moisture with each pass, his fingers slowly working their way in deeper. He can see his fingers moving in deeper, and he wants to spread her open, wants to slip his tongue in, wants a taste, but his gaze flicks up at just the right moment, because he finds her clit, and Jyn’s eyes roll back in her head as they close, her lips parting, and her hands reaching to grip the pillows behind her head.

Interesting. He had to wonder how much she touched herself, if that was her reaction to a simple brush of his fingertips.

“When’s the last time you touched yourself here?” he asks against the top of her thigh, and he runs his fingers back down again, this time his fingers dipping into her slit, gathering up a little more wetness. When he runs them back up, he rolls his fingers over her clit, making her hips jerk off the bed in response. He tries to not grin, but it’s telling, how sensitive she is, how her knuckles are already going white.

“Fuck… not since we got here. It’s too karking cold. Stop teasing me, and fuck me already.”

He wishes he wasn’t deep under these blankets, only his free arm holding it up enough that he can see her face, but he wants her, wants a taste, and she’s probably getting cold.

“Look at me,” he insists, and he rubs his fingers around her clit again, making Jyn’s eyes, opening immediately for him, lock with his while her lips part, a soft cry escaping them. “Beautiful…”

She smiles a little in response, a heavy breath escaping, and then he gives a nod. “Go ahead and pull the blankets up. I don’t want you getting cold.”

Her brow raises, and he lets go of the blankets as he shifts around in the dark, his body curling up between her legs so that he can try to keep himself warm as he works her through at least one orgasm, if not two. His arm, the one that had been holding up the blankets, moves to her stomach, and he presses his elbow into her hip, and runs his arm across, his hand resting on the opposite side.

The fingers rubbing over her clit slide down, and he spreads her open, and he can’t see much of anything underneath so many layers of blankets, but he doesn’t need to see to know that she’s dripping wet for him, that she smells delicious, and that he needs a taste.

His shoulders are wide enough to keep her thighs parted, which is good, because he’s pretty sure he might die between the blankets and her legs keeping him trapped, but he wants her to have a few orgasms before he dies the best sort of death. He has her perfectly open for him, and he… he’s almost scared.

And then he’s not, because this is real, this isn’t some sort of dream, and he’s about to make her cum so hard she cries.

His tongue touches her, not quite hitting where he wants, but he easily finds her slit, and she’s dripping wet for him. He licks into her a few times, gathering up her taste before he swallows, and she tastes as good as she smells. He’s glad he hit the fresher in another room before he came back here, because her skin smells like the soap they use, and he’s already drunk on it, on the way it melds with her skin.

The next touch of his tongue is up higher, and with a few licks, he finds her clit. Her hips jerk again, so hard that he’s pretty sure the blankets have been pulled up at the foot of the bed some, but he ignores the blast of cold air coming in - he has the right spot.

He licks again, the flat of his tongue covering the sensitive bud, and when she jerks again, he shifts his knees into the bed, and uses them to brace his shoulders, to keep her still.

The third lick, he runs his tongue around her, then wraps his lips around her, sucking so hard, he can almost feels the orgasm in her, building quickly, and he can hear her heart racing, can feel it beating against his arm from her thigh.

She’s going to sit on his face next time, so that she can’t get away, or maybe he’ll tie her up, but fuck, he’ll never get sick of this taste.

His teeth scrape over her clit and she jerks again, a noise coming from Jyn that doesn’t even sounds real, sounds half between a sob and a cry, and he wants to see her face, but it’s one or the other, and he’s going to taste again.

Now that he knows where he is, knows what he’s working with, Cassian gets straight to work. His tongue is on her clit again, and his fingers move to slip back into her, two at first, curling deep within her. She’s soaked again, and tightens around his fingers almost immediately as he curls them within her. It’s a terrible angle, he can’t reach as deep as he wants, but he can get her off with just his mouth, doesn’t even need his fingers much.

He’s not in a rush, enjoying the taste, but he’s also cold, his foot now sticking out from under the blankets, and his cock is hard against his leg. He wants her to feel good, wants to kiss her again, and he stupidly misses her face, like he hadn’t just been looking at her. After a few more long licks, he gets to work, adding a third finger, and he knows he’s stretching her a little, but the noises are becoming whimpers with every shift of his fingers, every time he lets go of her clit for a moment then grabs her again.

It’s the scrape of his teeth that has her hips lifting off the bed, and he forces her back down, the shift in angle allowing his fingers to find her gspot. In seconds, with his tongue working over her clit, he has her cumming so hard that she reaches for him over the blankets, her hands trying to grab onto his shoulder and the back of his head, only able to grab blanket. He sucks her through it, curls his fingers and presses deeper into her, until she goes limp on the bed.

He wants to go again, but he needs to see her face, wants to look at her.

His tongue runs up her slit, from bottom to top, and he makes a mental promise to come back down, whether later tonight or in the morning, but he’ll definitely be back. Right now, though, he wants to kiss her lips.

When he slides back up, what he finds is Jyn with her head thrown back, heavy breaths escaping her, and tears in her eyes.

Concern immediately hits Cassian, and he runs his clean hand under her eyes, brushing away the tears, looking for what’s wrong. She’s smiling at him, though, and he tries to smile back, glad that she’s seemingly not hurt.

“Was I too rough?” he asks, and he’s worried that maybe he was holding her down too much, hadn’t asked permission. She could have told him to stop and he would, but she’s shaking her head no, and he gulps, waiting for her answer.

“No, just… I’ve never… not with someone else.”

He blinks, not surprised how to answer… he knows what he’s doing because undercover… well, he has done things, a lot of things, but it has never been like this, never been like this for him, with someone that knows him, knows who he is, knows all the truths behind him. He blinks again, and then he-

“I’ve never… not with someone that matters.”

It’s the best offering he has, and she nods, then shakes her head a little. “I mean, I’ve had sex, but you know, in war time, you’re kind of in a rush-”

“You don’t have to explain yourself,” he says, interrupting her, and he doesn’t mean to, but she doesn’t owe him anything, no explanation. “I just mean… this is a first for me, where I’m just Cassian… where I’m doing this because I want to. It means a lot to me that you-”

She interrupts him now, with a kiss, and there’s the taste of her on his tongue still, but she doesn’t seem to mind, her arm going around his shoulder as she pulls his body onto hers. The weight of him settles over her lower body, and his cock bounces a bit between them settling down along her hip, and he pulls back after a moment, blinking down at her.

He nearly comes undone when Jyn reaches for his hand, the one that had been inside of her, and brings it to his lips. His hips definitely jerk when she slides them into her mouth, and when she sucks, her tongue teasing the tips of his fingers, he lets out a groan. His thumb rubs over her bottom lip, and she runs her tongue around his fingers again before opening her mouth.

“ _Next time_ , you’re going to sit on my face while I eat you for breakfast… and then, if you’re up for it, I want to explore your mouth.”

She nods, her teeth catching his thumb, and he has to physically force himself to not flip her over, to roughly fuck her until he can think clearly again, the haze of lust and desire finally sated.

 _Next time_ , and the fact that there’s going to be a next time, that she wants there to be a next time, it still amazes him.

His thumb pulls from her lips, and he has to tug, and then he’s kissing her again, kissing her so hard, he thinks that neither of them may ever need to breathe again. Jyn arches up into him, her hands going into his hair, and he groans as she tugs on the strands, jerking his face away from her lips.

All he wants is to kiss her again, so what could she possibly - “For the love of the Force, can you just stick your dick in me already?”

Oh, that was an exceptionally… exceptionally valid reason.

His hands went to her hips before he responded, tugging her body closer to his and down off of the pillows, and he reaches up over her head, tugging and tossing them all aside until Jyn is flat on her back. His hands move back to her legs, and he hikes one around his hips, the other higher up above his waist, and he grins as he looks down at her, her body half splayed out in front of him.

“I’m going to watch you cum this time,” he informs her, and there’s a smirk on her lips, because she likes the sound of that, and because he doesn’t make promises he won’t keep. He slides two fingers between her legs again, and he feels how wet she still is, still sensitive as he rubs at her clit.

He wants another taste, but instead, he moves his hand to stroke his cock, still holding her knee up high on his body with the other hand, and he pumps himself a few times, already rock hard-

Shit, has she had her shot.

“Wait, are you up to date on your medical?” he asks. He knows, when she first joined, that there were a lot of immunizations she didn’t have, because Saw didn’t have access to them… because she had been on the run.

If there was anyone he would want to have a child with, it would be her, but he would rather not have it while they were on a karking ice planet.

She blinks at him twice, and then bursts out laughing before falling back onto the bed.

“Cassian, I finished my last round of shots before we left on our first mission over six standard months ago… and yes, I made certain my implant was up to date before we left for Hoth. I’ve been on top of that since… well, since we met. I didn’t expect it to take you over a year.”

His cheeks turn red, and he grins, because yeah, it did take a year, and she had to make the first move…

“Well… well good.”

They’re grinning at each other, and then she finally adds on another thought, one he should have thought of, but this was Jyn -

“I don’t have any condoms, but my record, it’s clean as well. Like… if you’re clean-”

“I’m clean.”

Standard protocol would be to swap medical records, but he trusts Jyn, trusts her with his life, and honestly, if she did have anything,,, he couldn’t even find it in himself to care.

“So we’re doing this?” she asks, and there’s a vulnerable softness to her eyes that makes him adore her even more.

He nods, his hand moving from his dick to beside her head, so that he can lean forward, and he brushes his lips over hers for a single breath. The air catches in both their lungs, and his eyes close for a moment before he pulls away.

“Yeah, sweetheart… yeah, we’re doing this.”

She’s smiling at him again, something so gentle and tender that it makes his heart suddenly race, and as he shifts back onto his knees, he runs his fingers into her hair, brushing it back from her face for a minute.

His tongue runs over his lips as he looks down at her, down at where they’re almost touching, and he strokes himself one last time before he runs the head against her slit. She’s still, almost tensely relaxed, like she’s telling herself to stay calm, and a few more strokes later, he’s in.

Cassian tries not to rush it, his thumb moving up to her clit, and he rolls his finger around it as he works his hips, slipping in deeper and deeper until he’s bottomed out. She’s so wet for him, and he knows she’s sensitive, because already, her breathing is harder, and her eyes are rolling back.

“All good?” he asks, and she grins at him, eyes still closed.

“Yeah… karking hell, I’m better than good,” she says, and he grins as he leans forward again, one hand still wrapped around her leg, the other hand going back to beside her head, so that he can lean onto his forearm, can kiss her slowly.

He doesn’t move his hips, doesn’t shift, just moves until his weight is settled over her, and he can kiss her. It’s just like the last kiss, soft and gentle, their lips catching for a moment before they part, and then he presses more kisses, to her cheeks, her temple, against her nose, down to her neck. He’s not moving otherwise, just pressing soft kisses to her, letting her grow used to him, the weight and feel of him, before he continued.

When she starts to shift, and he can feel her internally tightening around him, he moves back to her lips again, parting her lips with his tongue, and kissing her long and slow as he rocks his hips out, and then back in. He swallows her gasp, and as he pulls out a second time, he nips at her lips before filling her once more.

It’s a slow pace, not rushed at all, with no force behind it. Her body is made for his, the way that she opens up, how easily they fit together, and he can move his hand from her leg, can run his fingers into her hair, the angle somehow perfect without his hold. Every other sound is a gasp from her lips, and he swallows all of them, swallows every moan and whimper, kissing her again and again until her body truly does relax under his.

He moves his hand back between them, searching for that little bud, and she jerks in response, her body tense once more, but he works her through it, through the tenderness, increasing his speed until the soft kisses are gone, and Jyn’s head is thrown back, her fingers digging into the sheets, and he has lost the blankets around his hips.

He wants to blow so karking bad, but he won’t not until she cums for him, not until he can see her face. He missed out on the first orgasm he gave her, but he’ll see it this time, will watch her fall apart under him.

She’s so easy to read, and when he shifts two fingers to her clit, pinching and rolling the bud between them, he can see she’s ready to cum. He shifts off his forearm, back upright, and his hand, no longer supporting his weight, is able to hike her leg higher. It seems to be the right angle, because she’s gasping as he moves his hips forward again, and when he rubs harder as he slides out, she’s on the edge.

It only takes a few more seconds, and then his hips half stutter, because he can feel her tightening around him, can feel her orgasm begin. He makes himself move again, just so he can fuck her through it, and his teeth grind together as she rocks up off the bed, her hips in his hand, and she gasps out his name. It’s just short of a scream, and when she crumbles back onto the bed, he makes himself stop, slow down, and pull out of her.

Karking hell, the vision of her head thrown back, her face going almost red and then turning white just before she came, the feeling of her around his cock…

He wants to eat her out again, and goes to do just that, to slide down her body, when he feels a hand grab his shoulder.

“Don’t you dare,” she gasps, and she’s pushing him over onto his side beside her. He goes willingly, and in seconds, he’s flat on his back, with Jyn laying on top of him.

She’s still breathing hard, but he says nothing for a long moment, until she pushes herself up onto her knees, and goes to straddle his cock.

“Oh karking hell,” he gasps, because this is definitely a fantasy, one he has envisioned time and again, all centered around her, and now he has her here, in his lap, legs spread, cunt dripping wet, and his cock rock hard.

“I’m going to ride you till you blow,” she says with a grin, and there’s definitely exhaustion in her eyes, but her shoulders are no longer tense, and there’s a carefree smile on her lips, and it’s the first time in a long time that the wrinkle between her eyebrows has been smooth. She’s relaxed, she’s loose, she’s letting herself go with him, and it pulls another groan from him.

“Take what you want,” he asks, and it’s nearly begging, nearly, until she lifts her hips and then sinks down onto him.

What comes out of his lips is definitely begging, then.

“Fuck, move, please, fuck sweetheart, just rock your hips a little,” he gasps, and his fingers are digging into the sheets, trying to keep himself from touching her. She had clearly wanted to be in control, so he won’t interrupt that, but he’s already so close, he just wants her to rock her hips back and forth for him, so that he can finally get some release.

“I’ve got you,” she promises, and as her hips shift forward, Cassian lets out a groan. His eyes are locked on where they’re joined, and he’s so karking deep in her, he’s not sure where he ends, and where she begins.

Her hands cover his, and he realizes that she’s moving them to her hips, so he digs his fingers into her skin, gripping onto her. As she starts to rock again, he realizes what it is - she might be on top, but she’s letting him control the pace, letting him finish off what he started.

Instead, he forces himself to sit up, and it’s an ache on his back, but then he’s shifting backwards and letting go of her to grab a pillow, so that he has something to press back against her.

Once he’s settled, Cassian draws up his knees, and it forces Jyn to shift as well, but she’s still deep in him, and he’s still hard… and now he can move. They both can, her hands moving to the wall above his head, and his hands back onto her hips. He experimentally lifts her slightly on him, then tugs her backwards to sink back down, and he can feel her tighten around him in response, the gasp telling him what he needed to know.

She likes it, she likes how he rocks her on him, and he is going to use that to his advantage.

Except then she kisses him - and he is done.

Kissing Jyn thus far had been an adventure, every time different, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, but this is… Her fingers run into his hair, and one of his hands moves to her back, dugging her close, and he thinks he might see starts. She’s kissing him like she loves him, like she doesn’t want this to stop, like she’s scared it will stop, but he’ll never be done with her, he’ll never have her out of his system, and he needs her to know.

Even when she pulls away for a breath, he chases it, only allows her a half second before he’s kissing her again, and he rocks his hips in a half stutter as she tugs at his hair, helping him remember that he’s karking cold, that both their bodies are sweaty, and he has been rock hard for what feels like hours.

His hand moves from her back to her hair, and he runs his fingers into it, pushing it back and then gripping, so that he can hold onto her. She repeats the move in his own hair, and they’re trapped together, kissing as he leans into her, his hips moving in a rough time. There’s no rhythm left, just need, his need to get off, and he finally cums in what feels like forever, dragging on and on as they still rock against one another.

It’s not until he finally comes up for air that he falls back against the pillows, and his legs half fall to the side, a groan escaping him.

He needs to sleep.

“You broke me,” he gasps, and she falling half onto her side beside him, her body laying nearly perpendicular to his own.

“Is that a complaint?” she asks, and he groans as he forces himself to roll onto his side, to climb out of the bed. It’s colder in the room than he remembered, the loss of her warmth something he ached for now, but he still went into the fresher, grabbed a towel, and came back with it.

“No, it’s a reminder that I’m old, and broken,” he says. She hasn’t moved, and he climbs onto the bed, spreads her legs, and carefully wipes her. She lets out a whimper as he rubs at her slit, and he thinks about eating her out again, tasting the mix of them together… but he really is tired.

“Are you always going to be like this after sex?”

He pauses in the fresher doorway, having just tossed the towel into the sink, and smiles. It’s one thing to think about next time when you’re in the middle of it, but after… “So you want a repeat performance?”

Jyn finally sits up on the bed, shifting to sit into the middle, and she’s reaching for pillows before sliding under the blankets. They’ll have to restack it all tomorrow, but right now, he’s just ready to climb into bed against her.

“I like sleeping naked.” she says in answer, and she slides under the sheets, laying down on her back, and then watches him. “The best way to sleep naked is with someone else to warm you.”

It’s a lie. It’s a lie, and he knows that, because they’re both military, they’re both survivors, they’re both assassins and spies… you’re always on guard, always covered in weapons.

Sleeping naked? That was how you end up dead.

He won’t call her on it, though, because he wants to sleep naked next to her every night, will do so until she throws him out.

“Mmm, I’ve heard body heat is the best way to stay warm.”

He climbs onto the bed beside her and pulls her close, her head resting on his upper arm, and their bodies shifting until they were wrapped up, comfortable. This is the first time it has happened because they both wanted to, the first time naked, the first time where they’re moving closer, rather than trying to find distance.

He tries to not think about having to go back to sleeping alone, one day… but that day isn’t today, and maybe when he reaches that day, he might have the balls to tell her, to let her know, that he wants to wake up beside her every karking day.

“Are you warm now?” he asks, and she grins a little as her eyes close.

“Very.”

 

* * *

  

When Jyn wakes up the next morning, the first thing she realizes is that she’s naked… and Cassian is wrapped up around her.

The night before flashes through her eyes, and she smiles to herself, something small and precious, at the memory of him. _Next time_ , he kept talking about next time, and she hopes he feels the same way, hopes that he wants this too…

The way that he’s kissing her hair, he seems to want this for sure… or maybe it’s just his lower body.

Except that then he kisses her temple, and then climbs out of bed, leaving Jyn wrapped up in the blankets, watching his naked body walk to the fresher. She pouts, and he seems to know, because he turns around at the door, looking at her hard.

“Are you going to join me?” he asks.

She’ll figure out telling him later, telling him that she karking loves him, that he’s an idiot for taking so long to kiss her when she had been throwing herself at him for months, but he has never been one to share. She has had to make the first moves each time before… except that he always comes back for her.

She makes the first move, and then he comes for her, every time.

She can live with that.

Climbing out of the bed, Jyn stretches, and Cassian watches her for a moment as she pads over, then reaches a hand in her direction. She takes it, and he pulls her to him, his body turning and pressing her against the closed fresher door.

“Do you have any idea what it was like, waking up beside you,” he murmurs, and she shakes her head, waiting for an explanation. “I thought I was dreaming, but there you were, naked, pressed against me. Some sort of dream come true…”

Her lips press together as he presses his lips to her throat, and she closes her eyes for a moment before responding. “So, I’m a dream come true?”

He pauses for a moment, and she waits for an answer… it takes him a few minutes, and then she gets one as he pulls back and looks at her.

“Honestly… you’re in every single one of my dreams... “

She sucks in a breath, and then grins, reaching down to open the fresher door, to pull him inside.

She’ll prompt him to confess his love later. She has a few more fantasies to fulfill… and then some.

“Want to start with fucking me in the fresher?” she asks.

Cassian falls to his knees as she turns on the water, and by the time the water is hot, her eyes are rolling back in her skull, and both of her legs are over his shoulders, her hands gripping at the hooks on the wall, and her screams echoing in the small room.

 

**Author's Note:**

> SOMEBODY BETTER SAY IT.
> 
> find me on tumblr at [melanoradrood](http://melanoradrood.tumblr.com).


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